Daren is on a BEAR HUNT!

Well, here I am waiting for a phone call from Daren that never comes. I swear, why is it that no matter how many times you tell your husband to call home when they are hunting, they NEVER WILL.
Daren left on Monday morning, headed for Alaska on a Bear hunt with a friend of his from work. Yes, they will be gone a LONG 2 weeks. He has always wanted to go to Alaska and go see the sights, but I don't think he EVER thought he would be trying to kill a BLACK BEAR on his trip to Alaska.
John is hunting a Grizzly Bear, and my Daren, well his quest is a Black Bear. He has been so EXCITED to go and see what he could do.
Well before he left to go, Daren's mom Denise asked him, "Daren, do you know what to do if a bear tries to attack you?" Brilliant Daren said in return, "STOP, DROP & ROLL?" His mother just about died! Ever since he told her he was going on this bear hunt, she has been researching stuff on bears and what to do if they attack. She told him to lay down and pretend to be dead.
As I have thought of him this week over there on this "Great Bear Hunt", I have been picturing just ONE scenario in my mind. This is how it goes:
Daren, while hiking around these beautiful mountains in Alaska, he comes across this black bear eating his fish out of a huge river. As Daren, this very short; blonde/grayish haired man, comes tip toeing into this bears surrounding. I can vision Daren, holding up his gun so excited to shoot his first bear, when suddenly he has forgotten to load his gun with a BULLET (yes my friends, this would be Daren), and he screams out "HOLY $D%%," but like all of you know, Daren would have said the real word.
When he says this, the Black Bear just minding his own business gets startled and starts running towards Daren. So when Daren realizes this bear is after him, he tries to hi-tail it out of there when he remembers the what his mother told him. "Pretend you are dead!" I can so see him doing this. So he drops and pretends he is dead, when the bear starts sniffing around his body. As this bear sniffs his legs, arms, and feet Daren holds perfectly stiff, BUT when that BLACK BEAR starts sniffing his HAIR and starts MESSING WITH HIS HAIR, then his "HILLACIOUS" attitude kicks in, and Daren jumps up and kills that bear with one shot of his PAUL MITCHELL HAIRSPRAY that is tucked in his Cabella's fanny pack.

You people that know Daren, know this to be TRUE! Nothing makes him more MAD then someone touching his HAIR. I really don't know why I have pictured this scenario in my mind this week, but since his mother told me that, this is ALL I SEE!

I really miss him, and can't wait to see if he returns with his BLACK BEAR! Hopefully, it is not the way the I have pictured it in my mind though!